52 Weird Christmas Gifts Guaranteed To Make For A Nutty Noel

2022-11-28

var label_637ec18de4b06ef4a540c233 = "ctx-wait-637ec18de4b06ef4a540c233"; var defer_637ec18de4b06ef4a540c233 = document.currentScript; console.time(label_637ec18de4b06ef4a540c233); window.waitForGlobal( () => window.HP && window.HP.params && window.HP.params.clientUUID && window.localStorage && defer_637ec18de4b06ef4a540c233 && defer_637ec18de4b06ef4a540c233.parentElement.dataset.ready === "true", () => { console.timeEnd(label_637ec18de4b06ef4a540c233); Sideshow.comR2-D2 Popcorn MakerMovie night just got a little better (and weirder) with this R2-D2 popcorn maker.Get it at Sideshow.comTipsyElves.comMy Eyes Are Up Here Christmas SweaterThe point of the typical ugly Christmas sweater is to draw eyes to the chest area. The point of this sweater is (checks notes) to hold a beer. Glad to clear that up for you.Get it at TipsyElves.comGuitarGrip.comGuitar GripIn the past, musicians in need of guitar storage have been forced to deal with cases or stands. How boring. That's why you've got to hand it to the Guitar Grip.Get it at GuitarGrip.comAdvertisement Amazon.comChicken Wine DecanterBirds of a feather stick together, especially when drinking wine poured from a chicken-shaped decanter.Get it at Amazon.comHalloweenCostumes.com/Max The Dog CostumeThe Grinch may have stolen Christmas, but this costume of Max, his dog, has stolen our hearts.Get it at HalloweenCostumes.comTheChristmasPoopLog.comChristmas Poop LogWhat would Christmas be without poop? Or at least the "poop log," a tradition in Spain where children find a log before Christmas and feed it and beat it until after the holiday, when it's burned. Then the ashes are used as fertilizer (hence the "poop"). It may seem complicated, but trust me, kids love discussing poop almost as much as they love talking about Christmas.Get it at TheChristmasPoopLog.comAdvertisement ReserveBar.comJameson Whiskey Table-Top TreeJameson Irish Whiskey is offering a tabletop tree frame that not only looks stylish, but also tells people your priorities without you saying a word.Get it at ReserveBar.comGaugeMasterRetail.comBurning Brothel Model Railway SetAnyone who has ever tried to shop for a person who loves model trains, arson and prostitution knows it can be hard finding the perfect gift. Luckily, this burning brothel, complete with scantily clad people running in fear hits that challenging trifecta.Get it at GaugeMasterRetail.comBarkbox.comCannabis-Themed Dog ToysSince cannabis is legal in some form in the majority of states, maybe it's time you had "the talk" with your family pooch. These cannabis-themed dog toys can be useful visual aids as you explain the difference between a joint and a bong to Rover.Get it at Barkbox.comAdvertisement Shinesty,comSanta's Helper OutfitYes, dressing up as Santa is a nice holiday touch, but, to be honest, the suit doesn't really show off your body to its fullest. The Santa's Helper outfit will tell the word, "I'm willing to wear strange outfits to celebrate a holiday, but prefer them to be form-fitting."Get it at ShinestyWhistlePigWhiskey.comRye Whiskey In A Pig-Shaped BottleWho was it who said, "Rye whiskey tastes best when poured from a pig's rear end"? No one? Not one person? Oh. Well, the bottle is definitely a conversation piece.Get it at WhistlePigWhiskey.comModernMysticShop.comCelebrity Prayer CandlesSure, you could say a prayer to Jesus or Mary, but why not see if anything happens when you light a prayer candle to the cast of "Schitt's Creek"?Get it at ModernMysticShop.comAdvertisement Fun.comSpider-Man Desk LampSure, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is fun to watch, but can it be as entertaining as turning this Spider-Man desk lamp on and off repeatedly?Get it at Fun.comFun.comSanta vs. Shark Dog SweaterA dog in an ugly Christmas sweater is cute, but when that sweater depicts the age-old battle between Santa and shark, it becomes ... transcendent.Get it at Fun.comFun.comExorcist JammiesThese jammies depicting Linda Blair's character from "The Exorcist" will be a devilish Christmas gift for the horror film fan in your life.Get it at Fun.comAdvertisement GeniusLitter.com/Kitty Litter That Changes Color Based On Cat's Urinary Health"Wow! Kitty made Christmas ornaments in his litter box!""Uh, those aren't actually ornaments. It's Genius Litter, a type of litter that changes color based on our cat's urinary health.""Is there anything stopping me from decorating the house with them?""I thought common sense might be a deterrent, but I guess I thought wrong.""Great!"Get it at GeniusLitter.comMcMiller.FunIt's Bananas GameYou've heard of using your head? The It's Bananas game requires a different body part — the waist. It can look pretty silly twisting around, but you will either end up learning how to properly twerk or eating half a bottle of ibuprofen — or both.Get it at Amazon.comLoveHoney.comSex Toy Advent CalendarA sex toy advent calendar? It's a great to keep track of when Christmas is coming.Get it at LoveHoney.comAdvertisement PixBrix.com3-D Bob Ross PuzzleIt's Bob Ross as you've never seen him before — in plastic brick form. No, there aren't any plastic "happy little trees." Deal with it.Get it at Pix-Brix.comPSR.onlYak CheeseYeah, you could make a cheese plate with cow cheese or goat cheese or sheep cheese, but making it with yak cheese will give diners something to really yack about.Get it at PSR.OnlElise Abigail Photo for BigBlanket.comUgly Christmas BlanketYes, ugly Christmas sweaters can keep you warm when you're outside of your bed, but to ensure warmth on cold holiday nights, you need an ugly Christmas blanket. A big one. A real big one.Get it at BigBlanket.comAdvertisement Hiccupops.com/Lollipops That Stop HiccupsCandy is a big part of the holiday experience, but the Hiccupop goes beyond mere flavor. It actually stops hiccups. Sweet!Get it at Hiccupops.comRadikalNeonSigns.comNot-So-Quiet Quitting Neon SignWhat good is quiet quitting if no one actually knows about it? This neon sign will subtly let your co-workers and boss know that you're happy to approach your duties with the bare minimum of effort. God bless us everyone.Get it at RadikalNeonSigns.comDickOnADesk.com/Dick On A DeskThink of the Dick on a Desk as a workplace version of the Elf on the Shelf. The difference is, the Elf supposedly reports your kid's behavior to Santa, while you report Dick's behavior to HR.Get it at DickOnADesk.comAdvertisement Litecycle.comLitecicle.comChristmas lights look beautiful, but they can be so hard to put up. So it's no wonder some people are hesitant to take them down — ever. The Litecicle uses a system that makes taking down and putting up the lights much easier — and you may not need a ladder.Get it at Litecicle.comSquishFace.comWrinkle Paste For DogsSure, your dog looks cute now, but each day it gets older and closer to the wrinkled stage of life. Luckily, SquishFace wrinkle paste will help Rover stay looking as youthful and drooly as always.Get it at SquishFace.comCannabolish.comCannabolish SpraysAs cannabis rises in popularity, it's becoming common to smell the telltale odor of kush when you're walking in public. But if you wish to hide that particular scent, Cannabolish sprays should do the trick, making the house smell more like a pine tree. "Good! My secret is safe!"Get it at Cannabolish.comAdvertisement ShopBeerGear.comTurkey Beer For DogsDrinking alone isn't always pleasant, so the next time you crack a tall cold one for yourself, maybe give man's best friend a glass of turkey-flavored beer. He won't get drunk and you won't get lonely.Get it at ShopBeerGear.comSCSDirectInc.comThor Wine StopperIf you're getting hammered on wine, you need Thor's hammer when you've had enough.Get it at Amazon.comBigDillPickleballcompany.com/Pickle-Themed Pickleball EquipmentYes, pickleball is becoming one of America's top sports, but the lack of pickle-themed products has left a sour taste in the mouths of many. Thanks to the Big Dill Pickleball Company, that problem has been rectified. Thanks, progress!Get it at BigDillPickleballCompany.comAdvertisement EatIrvins.com/Salted Egg Salmon SkinFor the flavor fiend in your life: fried salmon skin flavored with salted duck egg!EatIrvins.comCuddleClones.comCuddle ClonesA stuffed animal that's an exact replica of your pet is deja vu all over again.Get it at CuddleClones.comQuarto.comGodfather Tarot DeckThe Godfather Tarot kit: It's a psychic reading you can't refuse. Really. You shouldn't. Seriously.Get it at Quarto.comAdvertisement TerraFlame.comPortable S'mores MakerS'mores are a great treat, but since doing them the right way requires an open flame, it's not the most convenient dessert. The Terra Flame makes it so you can heat marshmallows on a table without lighting up a whole fire pit.Get it at TerraFlame.comInYourPleasure.comCBD SuppositoriesMany people use CBD to relax, but it can take a while for edibles to take effect, and lots of people don't like smoking or vaping. InYourPleasure CBD suppositories take a different pathway — through your heinie — in order to make you "feel an overall calm in your pelvic region."Get it at InYourPleasure.comShopLikha.comT-Rex PlanterAlthough the Tyrannosaurus rex was a ferocious killer back when dinosaurs were a thing, this planter makes them look downright pastoral.Get it at Shoplikha.comAdvertisement Workman.comHow To Speak Chicken CalendarLearning a new language is a great way to keep your brain active in later years, but anyone can learn a language like Spanish, French or even Mandarin. It takes a special person to learn to speak chicken.Get it at Workman.comMattel.comTed Lasso Little People SetWaiting for the next season of "Ted Lasso" to appear on Apple TV+? In the meantime, you can act out your own fan fiction with these Little People dolls designed to look like the show's characters.Get it at Amazon.comBeed.co/Automatic Joint-Rolling MachineGetting all out of joint because rolling a fat one takes too much time and hand-eye coordination? Thank goodness for Beed, a fully automated joint-rolling machine that supposedly rolls a fresh joint faster than you can baste a turkey.Get it at Beed.coAdvertisement Sideshow.comOl' Dirty Bastard FigurineOther than Santa, Rudolph and maybe Buddy the Elf, who says Christmas better than the Wu-Tang Clan's Ol' Dirty Bastard in figurine form? No one. No one. No one.Get it at Sideshow.comJennifer Bakos for Seelbachs.comCrab-Flavored WhiskeyCrab-flavored whiskey: Tastes as good as it sounds!Seelbachs.comLoteli.com/Cassette Tape FloatThis beach float shaped like a cassette tape will not only be a comfortable place to rest in the pool, it will be a good way to educate kids on how people listened to music before smartphones.Loteli.comAdvertisement DailyHighClub.comHippie Van PipeOld hippies may get nostalgic when they see a pipe that looks like the VW van they used to go to Grateful Dead shows in.Get it at DailyHighClub.comSideshow.comStar Wars Chess SetLong, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, they apparently played chess. And, of course, the stormtroopers are just pawns.Get it at Sideshow.comDavid Wilman for BootBananas.comBoot BananasIf your shoes really stink, you can make them more "appealing" with Boot Bananas, fruit-shaped products that help improve the smell of footwear.Get it at BootBananas.comAdvertisement Big Potato GamesChicken vs. Hot DogYet another age-old battle, chicken vs. hot dog, is taken to extremes with a new game.Get it at Amazon.comWowWaterSports.comPatriotic Water WheelPatriotism comes in many forms, including, apparently, a giant water wheel.WowWaterSports.comTinyTreehouses.comTiny TreehousesSome people like decorating their trees with ornaments. Others might enjoy adding some actual real estate in the form of these tiny treehouses.Get it at TinyTreehouses.comAdvertisement Cribsi.comCrab Spoon HolderLife is hard enough without having to look for that misplaced spoon while making soup. That's why the crab spoon holder is perhaps the greatest invention of our lifetime.Get it at Cribsi.com

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