37 Bizarre Valentine's Day Gifts That Will Woo The Weirdo In Your Life

2023-01-29

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The decision seems obvious.Get it at HalloweenCostumes.comShinesty.comUnderwear With QR Code That Links To Sexy PlaylistSure, sexy underwear gets people in the mood for love, but these ball-hammock-pouch underwear add to the romantic atmosphere in a very sound way. The underwear pattern is actually a QR code that links to a romantic playlist when scanned.Get it at ShinestySergey Tokarev - stock.adobe.com for SCS DirectTitanic Door RaftThink of all the role-playing fun you and your Valentine will have reenacting the final scene of "Titanic" on a raft made to look like the famous door. Will Rose save Jack this time?Get it at Amazon.comAdvertisement HalloweenCostumes.comNaughty Cupid CostumeWear this naughty Cupid costume on Valentine's Day and it won't just be arrows pointing at you.Get it at HalloweenCostumes.comHiFreya.comCombination Razor And VibratorA razor that doubles as a vibrator? Now that's cutting edge!Get it at HiFreya.comGet it at HiFreya.comLexiLunaDoll.com/Lexi Luna Sex DollSure, arranging a date with porn star Lexi Luna would be a great Valentine's Day gift for anyone. But she's probably busy on the nights you're planning. Not to worry because you can purchase this sex doll of the adult performer and keep it around the house.Get it at LexiLunaDoll.comAdvertisement GoodVibes.comCum Face Duel Pump Action Penis GameLooking for an activity that will get your Valentine pumped? How about a party game in which players try to out-pump the other in order to see who makes their plastic penis erupt first? I thought so.Get it at GoodVibes.comCockuterieBoards.com/pages/galleryPenis-Shaped Charcuterie BoardYou may think this sounds nutty, but this penis-shaped charcuterie board is sure to arouse attention from your Valentine.Get it at CockuterieBoards.comUrbanStems.comThis Bud's For You Gift SetSome people like flower buds, others prefer Budweiser. With this gift set, everyone's happy!Get it at UrbanStems.comAdvertisement FansUtopia.comPorn Film Scripts Autographed By Adult Star Siri DahlLooking for some sexy reading material for your Valentine? Well, you could get them a script from a classic porn film like "Accidental Double-Date," "The Yes List" or "Steam Bath Switch" that is autographed by star Siri Dahl.Get it at FansUtopia.comShinesty.comUnderwear That Shows Teddy Bears HumpingSurely, there is no underwear pattern sexier than one that shows teddy bears in various acts of physical pleasure. Yes, I'm willing to die on that hill.Get it at Shinesty3Wishes.comSexy Cupid CostumeGranted, this is definitely a sexy Cupid costume, and it's sure to make your Valentine quiver -- no arrows necessary.Get it at 3Wishes.comAdvertisement LiquorWhaaat.com/Cream-Filled BeaversLook: Your Valentine is either into cream-filled beavers or they aren't. These beavers come with two types of cream filling: Rum truffle and Champagne creme. Damn.Get it at LiquorWhaaat.comGoodVibes.comVibrating Love HammaThink of how excited your Valentine will be when you take this vibrator from your tool chest and say, "It's hamma time!"Get it at GoodVibes.comGPBakeshop.ca/Pussy PopsA lollipop in the shape of a woman's sex organ might not seem to be in good taste, but it sure tastes good.Get it at GPBakeShop.comAdvertisement William Ewart for Get.TheSnorinator.com/Snore-Reducing PillowSure, flowers and candy are great Valentine's Day gifts -- especially in the early throes of the relationship. However, established couple know it's the little things that count in love -- such as purposely using a pillow designed to reduce snoring.Get it at GetTheSnorinator.comSingleMarrieddDvorced.com/Single, Married and Divorced WinesRelationships can drive you to drink, no matter your relationship status. Luckily, this wine company makes it easy with bottles made for those who are "Single," "Married" or "Divorced."Get it at SingleMarriedDivorce.comTipsyBrand.com/Wine Bottle That Looks Suspiciously Like A Sex OrganSure, wine is a sexy drink, but most bottles lack sex appeal. That's not the case with this wine bottle, which looks suspiciously like the male sex organ.Get it at TipsyBrand.comAdvertisement https://www.holisticwisdom.com/products/earl-24k-gold-anal-plugGold-Plated Prostate MassagerIf your Valentine enjoys both anal pleasure and luxury, a gold-plated $2,500 prostate massager is the way to go -- no ifs or ands but definitely a butt about it.Get it at HolisticWisdom.comFun.comFleece Blanket Of X-Men Making OutIf your Valentine's sexual fantasies involve the Marvel Cinematic Universe, then they will find this fleece blanket of X-Men members Rogue and Gambit making out really hot.Get it at Fun.comBoutiqueVoila.comGrenade-Shaped Male VibratorLooking for a penis vibrator for your Valentine? This one shaped like a grenade is truly the bomb.Get it at Amazon.comAdvertisement ShopCannaStyle.comRose Bottle BongSure, wine is divine, but a bong made from a wine bottle will surely light your Valentine's heart on fire.Get it at ShopCannaStyle.comTheAdultToyShop.comExtra Finger DildoThere's something unique about this dildo. I just can't put my finger on it.TheAdultToyShop.comFunBoy.comHeart-Shaped Splash PoolWading into romance can be daunting, but it's a lot easier when you're jumping into a heart-shaped splash pool.FunBoy.comAdvertisement BoutiqueVoila.comAlien Sex ToyDoes your Valentine find sex toys alienating? Well, maybe they will find a little something extra(terrestrial) with a vibrator shaped like an E.T. Get it at Amazon.comTwoPlusFertility.comFertility ApplicatorYou know the old poem: "First comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes Mary with the fertility applicator."No, it doesn't rhyme.Get it at TwoPlusFertility.comKyle Bebeau for SmokeBreak.Live/Pot Nugget PillowEverything is going to pot these days -- even pillows!Get it at SmokeBreak.LiveAdvertisement Sideshow.comSpider-Man And Mary Jane SculptureJust being able to open yourself to another person emotionally is a heroic act. This collectible statue of Spider-Man and Mary Jane will remind your Valentine that great romance comes with great responsibility.Get it at Sideshow.comHolisticWisdom.comRose-Shaped Suction VibratorRoses are undeniably beautiful, but they don't last long and they make lousy sex toys -- oh, the thorns!This rose-shaped suction vibrator manages to convey the beauty of the flower while giving a little something extra.Get it at HolisticWisdom.comPapersAndInk.com/Romantic Rolling PapersDoes the thought of expressing your true emotions to your Valentine get you all out of joint? Maybe it's better if you say those loving thoughts using these romantic rolling papers.Get it at PapersAndInk.comAdvertisement NaughtyNudes.store/Naughty Nudes Coloring BookYour Valentine will be tickled pink to receive a coloring book that is really "blue."Get it at NaughtyNudes.storeOffensiveCrayons.comOffensive CrayonsSo you decided to get your Valentine that naughty coloring book. Well, now you should pair it with some properly kinky crayons.Get it at OffensiveCrayons.comOhLavinia.comCannabis Sex LubeUsing a cannabis sex lube with your Valentine might just might add some THC to your love life: Titillating Hot Copulation. Get it at OhLavinia.comAdvertisement Siligrams.com/Heart-Themed Custom Ice CubesSometimes it's easier to express yourself with ice cubes than words. When that happens, these silicone ice cube molds are there to help you get your heartfelt message across.Get it at Siligrams.comJellyBellySparklingWater.comChocolate Sparkling WaterIf your Valentine is sweet on chocolate but not so much sugar or solid food, they will probably find this Jelly Belly Chocolate Sparkling Water to their taste.Get it at Amazon.comSlrrrp.com/Pre-Made Gelatin ShotsDrinks and dessert sound like a fun Valentine's Day option, but if you're short on time, combine them in the form of pre-made gelatin shots.Get it at Slrrrp.comAdvertisement VickiesGifts.netLip-Shaped Bath BombIf a warm bath is your Valentine's idea of bliss, this lip-shaped bath bomb will truly be the bomb.Get it at VickiesGifts.net

Weird Valentine's Day Gifts 2022 (NSFW)See Gallery

• 2023-01-29
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